There are costs and risks to a program of action, but they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction. - John F. Kennedy -

You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.
- Anthony Robbins -

The best changes often start as single, simple thoughts. Think big, and discover how to make your dreams real.

Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale.
Zig Ziglar

Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
Muhammad Ali

“The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention.”

Unknown

“No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning.”

Barbara De Angelis

Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you're going to live your life.
Joel Osteen

The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become.
Jim Rohn

Live out of your imagination, not your history.
Stephen Covey

A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. William Arthur Ward

Just-As-Beautiful

Greetings Everyone,

Not going to say alot just wanted to get your feedback on this article...

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1316172/New-magazine-Just-As-Beautiful-use-larger-models.html
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Till next time.

Andrew Ellis (dpcoaching) http://bit.ly/E14Rw

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Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people.
Mary Kay Ash

"Everything you are seeking are seeking you in return. Therefore, everything you want is already yours. So, you don't have to get anything. It is simply a matter of becoming more aware of what you already possess." ~ Bob Proctor

Some people are born with grateness in them others have grateness thrusted upon them and others just run away - Paddy Maguire

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.
Cecil B. DeMille

We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort. Jesse Owens

Holidays are over now what?

Hiya,

Before i start let me thankyou for comng to this blogsite in the first place! Well summer is over and my children have all now gone back to school. It was staggered but they are now back into the school routine. Just before they went back i spent 2 lovely weeks with them. We had alot of fun. Highly emotional. Jogging, reading, movies and a wedding are just of the things we got up to.

Well now all is quiet again until i see them again and i have to get back into a new routine again.

I occupy my time catching up with emails and planning the website and writing my ebook as well as jogging and my regular forthnightly sauna's. These are some of the things that i do to keep my self busy while i don't see the crew. Oh do i miss them. I'm so grateful when i'll see them again.

What about you how do you mange to use your time when you are not with your children. Do you have any hobbies pastimes? Maybe you need to find a new one.

Get a piece of paper and write down 3 things you enjoy doing and then action them one by one.

By doing so you'll have a direction in something you want to pursue.

Till next time..

Andrew Ellis (dpcoaching) http://www.divorcedparents.co.uk/

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Peace begins with a smile.
Mother Teresa

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
Mohandas Gandhi

He who angers you conquers you.
Elizabeth Kenny

One's first step in wisdom is to question everything - and one's last is to come to terms with everything.
Georg C. Lichtenberg

Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.
Vincent van Gogh

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.

Oscar Wilde

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

Robert Frost

One's first step in wisdom is to question everything - and one's last is to come to terms with everything.

Georg C. Lichtenberg

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.
Oscar Wilde

Communiction

I found this article from the independent newspaper. I thought i'd share this with you.

When I spend time with my children, I create a set of rules. The amount of time they can spend on the laptop etc. More importantly I ensure that still get some reading and writing down and make a point of sitting down and have breakfast lunch and dinner.

I think it's important to embrace technology. I think it's even more importnat to find a balance.

Tell me how it is in your household?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/aug/14/texts-twitter-email-children

A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.
William Arthur Ward

A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.
Joseph Joubert

A laugh, to be joyous, must flow from a joyous heart, for without kindness, there can be no true joy. Thomas Carlyle

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
Abraham Lincoln

Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
Roger Babson

We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.
Nelson Mandela

It always seems impossible until its done.
Nelson Mandela

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.
Nelson Mandela

Humility is one of the keys to success...

I don't know what the key to success is but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.

Bill Cosby

Beauty is only skin deep. I think what's really important is finding a balance of mind, body and spirit.
Jennifer Lopez

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
Dalai Lama quotes

Dazed and confused? Get your free Report.

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If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
Maya Angelou

Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home.
Mother Teresa

Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.
Buddha

“If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy”

“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”

Bryant H. McGill

A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home. ~Author Unknown

Hey, let me share with you what I believe are some great tips on how to improve your situation with your ex partner now you are divorced with children.

http://bit.ly/E14Rw

“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.”

Robert Gary Lee

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”

Kenji Miyazawa

Love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt, deeply hurt by someone you trust.”

“If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone.”

John Maxwell

" If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.”

Jesse Jackson

"The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.”

Sven Goran Eriksson

Are you a quitter?

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Before you just say no think first!

NEW BLOG is ready. Let me know, what you think?

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Don't miss out on this...

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He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has. Henry Ward Beecher

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Dalai Lama

Happiness and sadness run parallel to each other. When one takes a rest, the other one tends to take up the slack. Hazelmarie Elliott

No more pain no more Drama!

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I'm ready to let go are you?

NEW BLOG is ready. Let me know, what you think?

http://bit.ly/91041M

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain

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If Dereck can you can!

Making mistakes is a good thing only if we learn from them.

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I'm ready to let go are you?

NEW BLOG is ready. Let me know, what you think? Leave a comment.

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If you want to be loved, be lovable.
Ovid

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
Mother Teresa

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it.
Frank Howard Clark

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with" How are these people currently influencing your life?

What are three things you're thankful for today?

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. Martin Luther King, Jr

Dreams are the touchstones of our character.
Henry David Thoreau

Failure is success if we learn from it.
Malcolm Forbes

I'm ready to let go are you?

NEW BLOG is ready. Let me know, what you think?

http://bit.ly/91041M

‎"You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety." - Abraham Maslow

It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.
Henry David Thoreau

I'm ready to let go are you?

NEW BLOG is ready. Let me know, what you think?

http://bit.ly/91041M

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. Mark Twain

The only source of knowledge is experience. Albert Einstein

There is a way out...

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You want to grow your business. You need to grow yourself. Keep learning!

The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. Buddha

The road to success is always under construction.

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. Buddha

The 2nd coming..

http://ping.fm/cfJxz

A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. Confucius

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. - Winston Churchill

divorcedparents youtube channel

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This is great!

Tony Dungy: The All Pro Dad - CBN.com

I'm ready to let go are you?

Check out my new blog. http://bit.ly/91041M

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Napoleon Bonaparte

I'm ready to let go are you?

I recently have been challenged with a minor teenager issue regarding my mixed race daughter and her hair. It's something trying to tell her how beautiful she is without her wanted to change her hair, and trust me she is beautiful. Then again i would say that!!

The thing is though she wants to fit in with her peer group without seeming to be the odd one out! I bet some of you have been their before.

Anyway previous attempts have fell on deaf ears so instead of banning her from doing anything and creating a horrible dent in our relationship and a rebellious child at that, i've shown understanding and compassion. With a bit of flexibility and love we have managed to find a balance.

It amazing how just a few simple steps achieve so much.

1. Address the issue.
2. Talk and share your feelings.
3. Show how far you are prepared to accept it.
4. HAVE FAITH!
5. Continued support.

Remember you were young once!

Till next time.

Your comments are most welcome!

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http://www.divorcedparents.co.uk/

Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.
Socrates

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.
Hannah Arendt

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
Mohandas Gandhi

Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.
Dean Acheson

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.
Oscar Wilde

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.
Samuel Johnson

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.”

Aldous Huxley

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.”

Aldous Huxley

Stand with anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right and part with him when he goes wrong. Abraham Lincoln

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Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.

A successful man (person) is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him....

Divorcedparents welcomes contributions from professionals/coaches etc. If you would like to be involved as an expert to, or wish to contribute an article, please contact me andrew@divorcedparents.co.uk or send me an email to my inbox.

“In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends” John Churton Collins

There is only one success-to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.
Dalai Lama

Blogers needed to contrib to my website. Life after divorce (with children). Any takers. Holla at me via my inbox. If not email me andrew@divorcedparents.co.uk

Contributors/ experts/ coaches etc needed to help me in providing a service via my website which is in development at the moment. Interested in wanting to share and help divorced parents move on after divorce, then holla at me via my inbox.

Contributors/ experts/ coaches etc needed to help me in providing a service viamy website which is in develpment at the moment. Interested in wanting to share and know more, holla at me via my inbox.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Dalai Lama

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
Josh Billings

It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come.
Dalai Lama

"Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation."
Brian Tracy

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result.
Oscar Wilde

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
Thomas Jefferson

Beat the holiday blues!

As a divorced parent you must put your differences to one side and think about your children, when considering taking them away for a holiday!

Have some respect for each other and see how far you get! You may be surprised!
Respect, patience and a mutual understanding will help when communicating with your ex your intentions. This will help a great deal when dealing with taking the children away !

Here are a few tips which on ensuring everyone is happy during the holiday season!

1. Planning!
Make sure that you do all the research necessary as regards to times dates etc and make sure this is clearly expressed! No drama!!!

2. Booking!
Don't book your holiday when it's your daughters ballet show, or your sons football tournament. Silly move!! Find out what your ex is doing around the time you think of going away! Communication is the key!!

3. Keep your word!
Keep to your word and don't make false promises. It's not a good look and will back fired on you! Make sure that your children feel comfortable with the idea of the holiday you are planning! Children may forgive, they don't forget!

3. Keep in touch!
While away if the need arises stay in touch with the other parent via email, Letter, telephone, cards etc! More importantly let the children do it. Encourage then to do those things. Give them a few moments quiet time to speak to the parent if this is something they want!!!

4. Children's Needs
Think about your children needs as regards to any foods special dietary needs, medication, any disability etc this is where your planning is important!

5. Put the ego to one side.
Be support of what your partner doing taking your children away. After all you agreed right!

6. Competition
Do bare in mind that you are not in competition to out do your former partner with a better holiday. Allow yourself to have a break within your budget.

7. Set a positive example.
Up till now you have been going on holidays as a family. Remember you still are a family so make sure you remain positive about the whole holiday experience and just enjoy yourself. Have fun.

When you at it, it's s a win win situation isn't it?. You get to spent quality time with your children and if this goes well, This is the start of many.

Thanks for reading. Love to get your feedback.

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I concede! We ain't getting no sunshine today!

Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
Muhammad Ali

Your life is what your thoughts make it.
Marcus Aurelius

It just came naturally.

Hello..

How have you been? I had such a wonderfully relaxing last few days. I took advantage and got some DIY done while the children are not here. I also spent alot of time in the garden and decided that I will go to the garden centre to research a few things to get ready to plant in the garden for the summer. There was so much to see. I took notes and asked questions. The staff were realy helpful and friendly. I just have to remember that i don't buy to much as i won't have enough space to plant everything. It was very exciting. Will let you know how I get on..

Have you got a hobby or an activity that you are not doing enough of or want to research. It can be really rewarding to get yourself motivated to get started. I can't wait to get my children involved.

Here are 3 tips to help you on the way.
1. Write down 3 activities you like.
2. Research the top one.
3. Go and do it or get involved. Whether with your children or with a friend.

Step by step

Let me know how you get on.

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http://www.divorcedparents.co.uk/

Style over substance

Here in the UK we are gearing up for a general election. I heard a phrase mentiond by one of the leaders which got me thinking. What was said was are you going to choose style or are you going to go with the substance.

As divorcedparents I think that with experience substance becomes more and more important as we get wiser. With all of our cchallenges how often do we look at the style and the substance question.

Are you looking beyond what is there at the greater good. Are you looking beyond the external and seeing the real jewels. Are you willing to put your sound bites and presentation to one side to look at your situation and what is important.

Beyond all the issues the substance is the children. Have you challenged yourself to go further, putting your differences to one side, to deal with this issue? Only you can answer that.

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Simply easter message

Unfortunately I been flat out for the last week with a dodgy back. Still it's given me the time to move around slowly and get the house all spring cleaned. Clocks have now gone forward, the days are longer the blossom is coming through and more importantly its warmer!

IT'S TIME FOR TRANSITION...

Easter is almost here too and this year i'll have the children which will be fun. It's nice when there is a buzz around the house. It makes it come alive.

Have you been able to to work out a schedule to spend time with your children and even if you haven't do something nice for yourself. Do remember though to give them a call during the holiday to tell them that you love them and you are still there for them. Don't allow negative thoughts to get to you if things don't work out.

Tip
If you are unable to see your children for whatever reason let go of your negative thoughts if you feel any by writing them down on a piece of paper. Purge it all out and then close the diary and then move on.

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Change your diet. Avoid and reduce the stress after divorce!

A good diet is the root of good health. just think about that!

A good diet is especially important during times of stress. Many of you including myself have gone through the tunnel of divorce. However how many of you have managed to be mindful of the food you have been eating after your divorce and especially the food you are giving your children, which can have a negative impact on them and you! Not knowingly this can have a negative effect on your relationship.

I'm a vegan and i have been for many years and i take the view that my diet helped me alot with my emotional, spiritual and physical well being during and after my divorce!

When stress occurs in our lives due to divorce, a proper diet reinforces our resistance against the effects of stress. It's crucial to be aware of the negative impact foods you are eating, but more importantly, what kind of diet you have during these times help support your body in its fight against stress.

Something to think about....

Have you considered coaching in regards to changing your diet and lifestyle. Let me help you!

www.divorecdparents.co.uk
Warm Regards
Andrew

What adifference a week makes!

My daughter was upset that she never got into her 1st choice school. When she found out about her first choice i happened to her that weekend! I spent a long time talking with her and making her feel comfortable that she was not a failure. In her mind she was.

I wanted her to know that all good things come to those who wait and that she will benefit from whatever school she gets into as long as she has good character and a positive attitude. In the end she felt on top of the world and was reassured by her mother also later that evening. The support she got from both of us was very positive.

She soon found out that other friends never got into the same first choice school and this made her feel better and that she wasn't a failure. At no point did i put her under any pressureor made her feel unfortable. I rememeber in the past how education and getting into a certain school was important!

As long as you are supportive of your child/ children what ever the outcome with unfortunate results always support them. This helps your relationship grows and get stronger and more often than not they will want to communicate with you more!

Funny she called me today to give me the news that she got into her 2nd choice school and was over the moon. What a difference a week makes!

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I nearly crashed the car!

I'd say i'm a fairly relaxed laid back chap! I have alot of views and opinions when i'm ready to say me piece the children have got used hearing me express my views!

Recently I was teasing my eldest daughter about Valentines day. I was saying that how come a beautiful young girl like you didn't get a card! She's just laughed and blushed! It's only when I say come you must have someone who likes you what's the name of your boyfriend!

Then there was a pause! I was driving at the time so I looked at her through the rear view window and waited for an answer! "Alex" she said!

Guess who was lost for words. Not only has my daughter turned 13 she's got a boyfriend!

You may be wondering how I dealt with! Well I was complimentary and I didn't rant and rave which could easily have been my reaction. As a divorced parent and someone who is not living with their children I felt a sense of humbleness. I quickly realised that if I pressed too much, i'd crush her confidence and would close the door to her ever coming to me when she has any future challenges!

We did chat later on that day, and even then I never squeezed her for answers as I'm sure with time I will get all the answers I need! Remember always treat your children with dignity and respect and they will do the same with you also!

Your comments are most welcome!

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Be a good role Model to your children...

Well the day is over and i thought i'd write a blog from my desk here at work. It's funny when I spoke to my friends about my weekend they tell me that i do so much for my children and that i'm such a great Dad. In truth i just do the best i can and i always tell the children that!

Anyway. Why am i writing this! Well i want you to think how important it is for you to be a good role model.

Be aware that they are watching your actions and so many times we see examples of children who are influenced by the actions of their parents! A healthy emotional and positive outlook creates stability and well being and your children feed of that so be careful!!

So present yourself in a good way, have respect for yourself and others show good manners!
I'm so happy when parents are quick to invite my children back to their house as they know that they are polite well mannered and not disruptive!

Avoid confrontations with your ex in public places or at home. Disagreeing and causing arguments for no reason doesn't help things or creat harmony. Things are challenging enough.

Had to get that out! Let me know your thoughts!

Andrew Ellis (dpcoaching) http://www.divorcedparents.co.uk/

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A positive start to the year!

As we are getting comfortable in 2010 you can look to make a few tweaks and changes to help you feel good about yourself.

Here are a few suggestions!

1. Improve something about your appearance!

Change your hairstyle, start doing some exercise whether it be riding a bike, running, walking all these examples creates a feel good factor about you and as a great impact on your health and well being!

2. Travel!

Take a break and visit places locally, nationally or even internationally of interest. by doing so you can tell your children, friends and family and all are engaged! Make a effort to stay in touch and visit extended family. This can help you recharge your battery!

3. Health is wealth.

If it's smoking, drinking, shopping, biting your nails, whatever it is, break the habit. Prove to yourself how mentally tough you are and stop making excuses

These few ideas can make are a few suggestions and will make a difference once you apply them. It's alos good to remember that you can always inspire others by your actions.

Your comments are most welcome!

Andrew Ellis (dpcoaching) http://www.divorcedparents.co.uk/

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