How to survive after divorce!

Many of us never think in a million years that we are going to seperate from a loved one. However the sad fact is that this event happens and many people are affected by this!

You can move on: Break ups are hard and the longer you are together with your former partner the greater the challenge of dealing with seperation, especially when children are involved.

If you ended your relationship: You have weighed up all the facts before making your final decision. Take each step as it comes. There's light at the end of the tunnel!


If your partner ended the relationship: You will probably from going through rollercoaster ride of emotions, do bare in mind the fact is that it will take time to heal. This is normal. Remember there is life after divorce and thousands of people go on to have fulfilling new lives after splitting up.

Part2 to to follow! The solutions of getting through your divorce!

Andrew Ellis (dpcoaching) http://www.divorcedparents.co.uk/

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keep communication with your children!

Perhaps you are finding communication with your children becomes more challenging, now that you are not part of the family. However all is not lost.

The main thing is that you want to stay in touch with your children and as i have found regular contact bridges the gap from you not being there. Below i've outlined 3 very useful tips.

Online communication!
Despite the fact that my eldest is 12 going on 13 and despite the fact that she has her own mobile! It's incredible that she never calls me not that i'm bitter. Haha. Seriously though! A few years ago this was the gadget to have however, for someone her age i'm more likely to have a conversation with her on her favourite networking site. It's great how long we can chat and how open she can be!

Also find out what her email address at school is and occasionally bounce an email and i bet you'll get a reply!

When your children visit you, set them up with an e-mail account for them at home, and also an Instant Messaging account with a relatively safe service.

Telephone
I know even though she has a mobile and never calls, doesn't mean you shouldn't. The phone is an excellent way of staying in touch. Call your kids in the evening, or weekendson the mobile or landline. It’s great for chatting on a regular basis. Calls don’t have to be long, just an opportunity for you to catch up on what’s happened during their day.

Letter writing
The old fashion way are is great also of keeping in touch. Children get so excited when they recieve something in the post with there name on it! Tell them what you are up to and that can be great material in your onlie and email conversations to!

Remember children can be uncommunicative when they want to be so keep these channels open and keep it varied! Obviously, the situation is far easier when your ex doesn’t put obstacles in your way. But if you have parental responsibility, you should be able to have regular access.

Don’t be afraid to discuss issues they’ll face in life – sex and drugs, for example when the time is right. Also, if you talk to your ex and hear about issues that the children have, discuss those with them, too. It’s not simply part of being a parent; it’s also caring and wanting the best for your children.

Let me know your thoughts! What do you think?

Andrew Ellis (dpcoaching) http://www.divorcedparents.co.uk/

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